We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
