addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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