Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
