she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize