when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
