so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
