just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
