hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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