He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
