Me too!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
