Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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