I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
