He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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