Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently the secret to your success is patron
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
