That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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