He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
