i used baking grease as lip gloss
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
