am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
