What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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