brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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