THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
