I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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