I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize