Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
