smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
