I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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