May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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