idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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