I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
