I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
