weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
