My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
