so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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