just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize