Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
