I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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