Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
