you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
