was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
