My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
