I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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