if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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