Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
