then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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