Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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