Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
farters have to be the big spoon...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
