Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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