the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I don't think brook has ever known best
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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