One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
