Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize