I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
