I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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