she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
