Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
